Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Carrie Fisher:1956-2016



Remembering Carrie Fisher


  What does one say? How does one express feelings when our primary vehicle these days seems to be either blogs or social media? I grew up with Carrie and Todd Fisher. I watched their father leave their mother; even then, at a young age, I wondered about how those two siblings would be affected. 

No mother should have to bury her child. It’s looking like what happened to Carrie is, in some ways, similar to what happened to my beloved friend Jean Mangan three years ago, at the age of 59. My heart broke then for her mother, Joan; and my heart breaks today for Debbie Reynolds, who is just six years younger than my own mother, and is faced with this heartbreak. I turn to Facebook for inspiration from folks I know personally; it's late at night and I simply don’t know where else to go. I’m not surprised to find wise words from so many thoughtful people. 

MaryEllen Morgan, a dear friend from my high school days, posts: “Let's face it, we all wish we could make as deep an impression as Carrie Fisher did in her 60 years (a small amount of time, if you look at the lifespan of our fathers and mothers); her lifespan was short. But we all need this as a lesson to us. What do we need to do and say in the new year? What does your life say about you? What legacy do you want to leave? There is so much work to do out there, my friends. Please make room in your weekly schedule to step up and forward to advance the ideals we all believe are important.” 

I respond to her: “MaryEllen, I resolve that as I grow older, I shall always remember that as each day passes, life becomes more and more precious." I continue: "I will try to hold back the curt word, the sarcastic comment, the impulse to retort. I will strive to react kindly and with courtesy to Marie, my best friend with whom I live. I will make a heartfelt effort to control my quick temper, and to avoid the curt response. To smile at people. To give from my heart to others." Quietly, I pray that for the maturity to think beyond my own personal bubble. I ask for guidance and hope in the coming years. May all of us find a meaningful way to work for peace and justice in this troubled world. Because MaryEllen is right. There's so much to be done.

 I talk with my significant other, Paul Dale Anderson, who reminds me: "Know that every minute we spend with loved ones is a gift not to be taken for granted. We ought to consciously cherish those times, and to make all our interactions positive." My response to Paul: "Yes. Life is a treasure. I'll do my part by striving to remember to put others first; and by making amends when I am wrong, without expecting forgiveness. I desire to radiate love and acceptance to all people of all backgrounds, ages, religions, personal life choices, and situations. To find a way to work for peace and justice. It all begins within one's self." 

That's why I pray every day.
 

Right now, I think of a certain 84-year old (yes, famous) mother, dear to me from my youth, who now has to bury her 60-year-old child. I pray for Debbie Reynolds and for her family and friends, who will surely provide a wellspring of strength to her. May she know peace and grace at this time of sorrow. 


And so I add:  "Everyone is a beloved child of God.  Think before you speak. Think before you speak. Think before you speak.”   


 



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