I am officially a curmudgeon

I am not a morning person. I never have been. And now, because I'm a senior citizen, I get to bitch about it and know that people will just shrug and say, "Well, there goes another crabby old lady." In fact, I transcend crabby. I have earned the right to be a curmudgeon, and I claim it. Thus, this rant:

I HATE MORNINGS.

I don't understand morning people. I don't understand the mentality. I certainly get the fact that most of the world seems to consist of "morning people," and that this state of being is respected and preferred, and - in fact - to expect a "normal" person to stay up after the news would be an unforgivable breach of civility.  But we who are night owls get no respect.

I especially cannot abide perky, cheery people who think nothing of phoning us before noon. I never answer the landline phone next to my bed if it wakes me up, because I know it isn't going to be for me. Everyone I want to talk to (1) calls my cell phone and (2) only calls me in the morning if there is a nuclear event.

And am I imagining this, or is it a given assumption that because a person is of a certain age, said person will automatically have the habit of rising at the buttcrack of dawn? Maybe they think we want to watch the sun rise. I haven't seen the sun rise in probably over a decade.

To me, 7:30 AM is the middle of the night.

                                                      GIVE ME COFFEE OR YOU DIE
                                                  

Next week, we go back to Daylight Savings Time. Oh, great. This means we LOSE an hour. This means that the meeting I always to go at noon will feel like eleven o'clock. Either that or I'll show up at 1 PM and it will be over. Just thinking about it is so confusing that I can't even keep the logistics straight. Marie tells me that I should start training myself to get used to Daylight Savings Time - a heads up. Before I know it, it will be spring and the birds will be banging against my bedroom window again. Everyone has complained about the harsh winter we've had, but I've loved the delicious feeling of snuggling under quilts with my cats, or curling up in my chair with my laptop and a mug of coffee. Did I say I don't like nature, either? I really don't. I do appreciate it from the windows of our sunroom. I am an indoor girl. Perhaps it is because we live in Illinois, where you go from subzero windchills and "winter storm warnings" to searing, boiling humidity with about 5 minutes of spring and 5 minutes of fall.

I have to practice getting up early. The indignity!

Which is why I'm sitting here right now bewildered, because I am very, very tired and need to sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open. Oh, wait. It's morning. It's almost 2 in the morning.

OK, so I AM a curmudgeon. A bona fide grouch. I might actually have to go to bed. This might mean I will wake up before noon. I am getting too old to be a night owl! I might turn into one of those awful, horrible, dreaded MORNING PEOPLE.

I'm going to bed now. Good morning.